Thursday, November 10, 2005

Dell Sucks- a rant

I am genuinely curious... how the hell do these guys stay in business?

No stores. You have to go online, so you have to seek them out in the first place. Okay, fair enough. Maybe the fault lies with me for assuming an online process would be a fairly simple one. What it turned into was the equivalent of a root canal, sans novocaine.

Excruciating, simply excruciating.

I decided to jump on last week and order a notebook computer. The website seems easy enough to navigate, and I quickly found a laptop that suited me, complete with 0% financing, IF you are a preferred account card holder.

So I apply for the card, and somehow get denied, so I call the number. They can't tell me why I was denied, but assure me that I will get a letter from the bank in the mail. Now don't get me wrong, I have no money whatsoever, but my credit is pretty much iron clad, so I'm a little confused.

My confusion elevated when I received a preferred account card with my name on it a couple of days ago instead of a letter explaining why I can't have the card.

Still, I'm thinking, "Score!"

I had a few minutes this morning, so I logged on and picked out my new computer, a brandy-new model- the XPS something-or-other. I punch in my info and get a flag several times stating that my info didn't match. After fifteen minutes on the phone with a customer service rep, we figure out that the customer service lady the previous week had typed in my mother's maiden name incorrectly.

So I called customer abort, I mean customer support and got that straightened out.

They fill out my entire order... again, then inform me that my application was denied and I should be getting a letter from the bank. I inform them that I have the card in front of me already.


So I give the nice lady my account # and we're back in business. I answer all the original information on my application, again. She informs me that I need to talk to the information verifiers and clear "security", which involved another twenty minute conversation with the account verifier guy. Did I mention these conversations were on my cell phone, using DAY MINUTES?!?!?

At the end of this chat, "Michael" assured me that I was on my way to my own Dell notebook computer and I need have any further discussions with customer service-type folk.


Fifteen minutes later, I get a call from an 800 number in my cell. As my butt cheeks tighten, I know this is bad news, and more day-minutes flushed down the toilet.

"Why are you caaaaaaalling me?" I actually sang it into the phone.

"I was told I was all set, the order's done etc..."

A sweet voice came back at me, it was Melissa, from Dell's sales team.

"Well...I have a "quote here" but no order has been put in."

Me, "Is it for $1122 dollars? If so, put it in, we're all set, sounds great see-ya-lata."

"Okay, sure thing sir...uh...wait..."

Me, "no...There's no more waiting, I was promised...Michael promised me... please, please stop...."

"Well...There's a block on your social security number, sir. Apparently you didn't check a box or something on your initial application a week ago, and what Michael did was open a new account, but the old account has a block on it. It takes about ten days to clear that up."


At this point, I was not so much frustrated with the ten day wait as with my inability to find a match. I had blown out the pilot and turned on the jets on my gas stove about half way through the chat and was unable to find even one measly match, surely there had to be one lousy match in the house???

"Ten days for the account to clear up, then the usually 18 or so days to produce and ship the computer."

I have to tell you, I really want and need this computer, but I just couldn't;t do it.

"What if I can get it cleared up by tomorrow? Or today, even?" cooed Melissa.
She was a nice person, I would even dare say a sweetie, but I just couldn't see it. If it's this hard to buy a computer, I don;t even want to know what it'll be like if I have a problem or need something fixed. Yikes and double yikes.

So... Anyone have a suggestion about where I can get a computer?


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