Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Made it in one piece

...albeit a tired, cranky piece.

The flight from Boston to Reyjavik wasn't too bad, landed half an hour early and I got a little shut eye. Reyjavik to Copenhagen kinda blew. I was freezing and couldn't seem to get comfortable, and oh yeah, the orange juice sucked.

Like a typical doltish guy, I headed out the door of the airport and wandered around looking for evidence of transportation, bus schedules, etc, or a taxi. I wound up walking in a circle to the information booth I initially walked by without noticing. Good news- the 250 Bus goes right to the door of the Radisson- sweet.

What wasn't quite as sweet was the twenty minute wait for the bus. It was a tad cold. They were claiming it was about 32 degrees, but I questioned it immediately. As I rode the bus half dazed, I sprung up as I saw the Radisson cruise by on the left. I lugged my baggage to the front and asked if that was the Radisson. The busdriver said something that made me think he was either offering me poached salmon or some sort of a deal on aluminum siding. he shook his head as I exited the bus and began the now 1/2 kilometer (see how quickly I adapt!) walk back to the Radisson.

I noticed nary a place to cross the street and as I finally got to the cross walk by te hotel, I realized he was trying to tell me the bus swung around and dropped you right in front of the building.

As a good and loyal Amercian, I was outraged. When are the Copenhagians going to learn to speak ENGLISH??? What an inconvenience for me.

When I got to my room, my "pokerstars" pack was waiting for me. It contained a pretty cool coffee travel mug, a baseball "EPT TOUR" hat and a winter hat. I tried the winter hat on with my sunglasses and looked totally thugged out. I stared myself down in the bathroom, using some lemon and orange shampoo and conditioner as "chips".

(Long pause as I stare)

"... I raise."

(Longer pause, cradle beard and give my "evil magician glare")

"All in."

I finally scared myself enough to put the hat away before I got hurt.

As I combed through the bag, I found four shirts. I have never been so grateful for anything in my life as I was when I remembered that I didn't legally have to wear any of the clothes. I won my entry using cash, if I had won in some sort of "free roll tournement" or using "points", I would be legally obligated to wear the shirts at all times during play.

One of the shirts they threw in was a white and red 3/4 length sleaved shirt that called my sexuality into question more so than a starring role in a series of gay porn films.

As I looked into the mirror I could only ask, "what the hell were they thinking?

Some of the subtle differences I have noticed about Denmark:

You can get 3/4 of the way across an intersection before the walk signal changes. (A footnote- when I was in Texas, I literally RAN across an intersection and failed to make it half way across).

The hotel rooms don't have a safe, or a bureau, which I thought was weird. If you want to use electricity in your room, you put your room "key" (a plastic jobby with the strip) into the wall, wen you take it out, all the power goes off.

Free internet.

It is about 30 and rainy here, feels colder. When I got back from my walk of ice, the woman at the front had me sign in and my signature looked like I was signing with a hook. The hotel, though, is really beautiful. My room is classy and neat and has a pants- press thing, not that I intend to use it unless I need to make a grilled cheese sandwich after room service closes.

Oh yeah- the bed is almost on the floor, just a box spring and matress, but very elegant. Defintely too snazzy for the likes of me.


Blogger GB said...

Oh yeah,

Watch out for the showers / bathroom thing. You won't notice it at first but when you do it'll freak you out.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Dot Dwyer said...

I didn't know you had done gay porn ? Can I have the gay 3/4 length shirt ?

9:07 PM  

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