Tuesday, January 10, 2006


Okay okay, so maybe I had it coming for seeing this kind of tripe, but BloodRayne disappointed me to the point of near-coma. I actually dozed off toward the end of this yawner.

The lead chick, Christina or Christianna or something along those lines with an exotic last name...anyway, she was cute, and I love vampire action flicks where hot chicks in leather pants beat the hell out everyone in sight, but they found a way to make even this dull beyond expression.

The most amazing new fact to me is that apparently Ben Kingsley has wasted his "Ghandi" and "Sand and Fog" money on blow. I can't imagine any other reason he would have agreed to appear in this film unless they had his family held at gunpoint in a remote location.

The most insulting move was a lame-o sex scene tossed in out of the blue and out of context to try to compensate for the yawnery being perpetrated on the viewing public. After the twenty-ninth artery was slashed and the blood guns sprayed the fakest looking blood since the 70s, the closest thing to a Blood Rain was the wrist I kept trying to slash with a straw I had chewed to a jagged edge.

If this is still in theaters a week after its major release, I'll buy ten copies of the DVD.


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