Sunday, October 22, 2006

A Brush With lameness

So I'm sitting Coney Island Hot Dogs yesterday in Worcester having lunch with a friend.

Some sort of nonsense is going on in the front of the joint and there is a smattering of applause. I look and see a few Deval Patrick signs. I figure it is Deval Patrick, but there are no black people so I assume it is Tim Murray the Lt. Gov candidate, and Mayor of Worcester.

Nope... it turns out to be Kerry Healey, the walking anti-dote for Viagra. She is the only attractive middle aged blonde chick over whom I would choose a punctured cornea than a sexual interlude. I debated whether or not to force down the last of my hot dog, unsure as to whether or not it would come back up.

So as Berlin Betty made the rounds, I filled my unwitting friend in on the wonderfully informative commercials she has run this campaign season. Patrolling the battered restaurant for lost bluebloods like a Commandant's girlfriend scanning missing Hitler Youth, she made it to my table just I wondered if the other public defender's in Deavl Patrick's district were all busy representing errant jaywalkers and litterbugs while he was busy hogging all the ever-so-fun violent crime pro bono cases... greedy bastard.

She gave her hand and my friend shook it.

I debated telling her that i would share a cell with her and Herman Goehring in hell before I would vote for her sick ass, but upon figuring out that it wouldn't be the first time she heard it, I took a pass. I briefly grabbed her hand and retruned her plastic smile with a scowl. I'm sure she hasn;t slept a wink since.

She turned on her heel and moved on to the next table.

By the way, I am sticking with my Berlin Betty reference, even though she is a rather forgettable character from Hogan's Heroes. It's too perfect to pass up. BB was the radio propagandist for the Nazis that all the GIs in Hogans outfit wanted to bang once they met her. She was intelligent, attractive, well spoken...and oh yeah... a Nazi.


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