Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I'd Never Approach You NOW

I ran into a friend of mine at a wedding this week and was subjected to yet another idiot-guy phrase that never ceases to annoy me.

My friend is someone who had spent a good chunk of her life overweight, and over the last several years has lost a lot of weight and spent an inordinate amount of time working out and getting into terrific shape.

She reflected how the idea that she would lose weight, and find the perfect guy... well, it just hasn't happened yet. She is another of the zillion attractive, has-it-together-but-is-single crowd that no one can figure out.

My friend seems happy single. I can relate. What I don't get is the following phrase that guys say to attractive women: Yeah... "I would never walk up to you on the street now."

I understand the inference is an attempt at a compliment, meaning, "Gee whiz... you are so pretty I would be intimidated!"

What the hell does this even mean?

This is perhaps the most over used and pointless of all the inane things guys say to women to avoid having to simply say they are attracted to them.

What the hell does this even mean? And is there some problem of which I am unaware where men randomly approach unattractive women in droves? I have yet to hear one woman say, "Boy, am I ever glad I lost weight, men used to just flock around me, but now that I'm hot they seem to keep their distance, which has always been my dream... isolation, that's where it's at for me.

If you think about it, it's reasonably insulting to say such a thing. This is someone you are friendly with, so at some point you DID feel comfortable approaching her for a conversation, does that mean she was unattractive because she didn't look the way she does now?

The most annoying thing to me is that this person represents one of the most amazing transformations I've seen, and it goes a lot further than dropping a few pounds and hitting the stairmaster. What's really interesting about her is her confidence and ability to accept herself and enjoy life as the result of a dramatic spiritual experience. She was so secure with herself that I was able to relax and be myself. I don't think I yield to it too often, but at gatherings with sober folks, I sometimes feel pressure to be a spiritual giant, which I am not. I was able to be honest about my spiritual condition, which is seriously in a lapse, and not feel judged, which isn't always the case.

I just hope no women come up to me a few years from now (when I am HOPEFULLY on "the beam spiritually") and say, "Wow... I would never approach you NOW, if only you were still spiritually bankrupt, I'd be so much more comfortable."


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