Monday, April 03, 2006

Johnny Damon, for the Love of God, shut up

Johnny has gone, 'tis true. And as I wrote a few weeks back, it was a great move for the Red Sox, not signing an aging center fielder with his best days behind him, and now has a balky shoulder to compliment his spaghetti-arm.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Johnny when he was here. We had him for the pinnacle of his career, and said good-bye when the love was gone. But like a partner you met at a keg party during an alcoholic haze and proceeded to have a one-nighter with that lasted anywhere from three months to several years. At some point, you have to realize it's over and go your separate ways. The sex was great sex, the times were good, but no amount of euphoric recall is going to change what's coming... reality.

Johnny Damon never wanted to leave Boston, he was a true icon here. He talked about his willingness to take a "hometown discount". The Sox offered 4 years for $40 million, he took 4 years for an additional $12 million.

He took the money.

That's fine, most of us would probably do the same exact thing.

Oh yes, you would. Stop it.

Bu the thing is, Johnny, once you take the money and move on, you need to shut the ^&%$ up about it. You need to stop blaming your old team for your decision to take more money and go elsewhere, which is your right. However, you don't get to take the money and remain the old home town hero. You sold your cult status in New England for twelve million dollars. I think you got a helluva deal.

So stop it, just stop the whining, the pissing and moaning, and the blaming. Shut your pie hole and play baseball.

You don't like New York, Johnny, do you? They don't kiss your ass in the Bronx like they do on Lansdowne Street until you produce a few world championships.

Welcome to the Yankees, where winning supercedes being "colorful" and booking as many Dunkin' Donut ads as your agent can muster.

Last night, Damon went over the line yet again in castigating the Red Sox for not signing him. It is so obvious that he loathes New York and regrets his decision that it's just silly to watch him continue. At this rate, it won't be long before he is stumbling around Central Park talking to himself, winning arguments with Theo about what his salary should be.

Last night on ESPN Sportscenter, Damon rambled endlessly once again about what a big mistake the Red Sox made in not resigning him.

"Me going to New York hurt a lot of fans."

Yeah...Yankee fans. Johnny, by the end of your contract, you will be a bust. Oh, believe it.

Damons father said "it was as big a mistake as when the Sox let Babe Ruth go". Babe *+^&#%$ Ruth??? Give me a &*^#$%@ break!

I'm not even going to comment on that, that joke writes itself. Dekusion usually only runs that deep in people who introduce themselves with three names and have bodies burieed in their basement.

Lastly Damon said losing him was a big mistake because, When new guys came up, he would say, "hey, ya wanna go do something?"

Now how are they going replace that kind of veteran leadership? They'll just have to find someone else to give the rookies directions to Hooters.

Lastly, the interviewer says, referring to his infamous "we're a bunch of idiots" line, "Last year you were an idiot... what about now?"

"I'm always going to be an idiot... I'm not ashamed of that."

No, but you really should be, Johnny.


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