Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Driving age going up?

So there is a new push to raise the age of teen drivers to 17 from 16 1/2.


Let's make it 30, instead, and ban the use of SUVs by anyone under 60.

I read a tragic plea in the Boston Globe by a fifteen year old girl who looked like she spent the bulk of her time in Malls. Seems she was really looking "forward to the freedom" of driving.

Get a clue, honey. Being fifteen and focusing on Britney Spears tickets is as close to free as you're gonna get. It's all down hill from there, cupcake.

There have been a lot of accidents involving youths of late. Firstly, ban ownership of cell phones to any kid with a driver's license. Better yet, make the driving age 21 and lower the drinking age to 16. Sure- let the kids drink. The ones that really want it are going to get it anyway, but they don't have to be sanctioned to drive 2,000 pound weapons around in a drunken stupor. Plus, this move would de-mistify alcohol, take the shine off it.

Yes, I am aware of the damage alcohol does to teenagers whose brains are still developing, but it probably causes a tad less damage than the general teen alternatives to the difficult-to-acquire booze, namely oxy contin, ecstacy and ultimately heroin, because let's face it, Oxys are too damn expensive over the long haul and percocets are so 1990s.

On top of that, a kid full of Colt 45 might smash his room up and play the Black Sabbath a little too loud, but he is much less likely to need to go to the mall constantly looking for weed or get girls pregnant out of boredom.

Just a thought.


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