Sunday, April 27, 2008

A Few Words about Peanut Butter

I shockingly noticed I haven't written on Sobah Comic since August of 2007- wowzy, talk about a stretch of laziness. I have been meaning to write again, but after such an extended hiatus, I felt it would take a momentous occasion, or a real serious issue to get me scribbling again.

I almost logged on for the purpose of a verbal political assault, then I remembered all the stress-free days I have enjoyed being A-political, and opted not to stir up that hornet's nest.

Finally, this morning, I received an email from a friend which reminded me of an important issue which seems to have gone untouched- the abuse of peanut butter.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like peanut butter, I really, really do- but in it's proper place. Peanut butter is wonderful on toast or an English Muffin. It is fabuloso in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, yes, yes it is indeed.

And while I certainly don't want to come off like some sort of peanut butter Nazi, with all the nonsense of late, a line needs to be drawn in the sand.

This is a list of places peanut butter simply does NOT belong:

Ice cream- absolutely, unequivocally NOT.

Corn bread- are you kidding me? This is an idea that must've come out of a bong.

Brownies- Now this one offends me. Brownies are wonderful all by their onesies, why bastardize one of God's greatest gifts to desserts? This is like reinventing the wheel, except you make it square.

Cookies - Ya ya...I know how popular peanut butter cookies are. Let me remind you of how popular were the pet rock, bell bottoms and the Phil Collins. Just cuz it's popular doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

Celery and peanut butter- Some knucklehead thought this was a delicious healthy snack...except that processed peanut butter has more fat in it than fat has fat in it... enjoy peanut butter, but don't delude yourself into thinking it is wheat germ.

My girlfriend told me that as a child she much enjoyed peanut butter-and-Frit0 sandwiches at the beach.

This is the closest I have evr been to leaving this woman.


Blogger GB said...

Dude, PB and ice cream rock. So does PB and celery. BTW - the fat in PB is a better kind of fat than the stuff you get in brownies. I know, it's still processed, but it's still good fat and not bad fat.

Oh yeah, how can you possibly not like peanut butter chips? You know, the kind you put in cookies and brownies? Damn those are good. I could eat those straight from the bag.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Korte said...

I have clearly misjudged you... you are just the worst kind of person.

10:16 AM  

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