Thursday, September 24, 2009

Tom Dustin is my Hero

Well, Boston comic, former used car salesman and all-around funny sunuvagun Tom Dustin has done it- he has realized one of my dreams.

While on a series of mid-west road gigs, he performed at Des Moines, Iowa last night. After the show, actress Amy Smart approached Tom and apparently told him she loved his set, understandable because is one of the funniest muthaf-----s going.

You have to understand- I dig Amy Smart, and not just because she was the winner of the 2004 MTV Award for "Best Kiss" (shared with Owen Wilson and Carmen Electra for "Starsky and Hutch") I always thought she was just one of those women who had "something", ya know?

She is firmly planted in my all-time hottest babes eva list.

1) Halle Berry
2) Tina Fey
3) Teresa of Avila (There is something hot about spiritually powerful dames.)
4) Amy Smart
5) Sarah Vowell (Smart is sexxy)

It dawned on me that the "something" she has is that precious space between her front teeth. There seems to me to be something genuine about a movie star who says "go take a dump fer yerself" to perfecting every aspect of her appearance so that she can look as much like everyone else as possible.

Maybe what I like is that this character trait of Amy's, and her embracing of herself as she is allows me to delude myself into thinking I would actually have a shot at her if she happened to stumble into a show I performed at and killed. Or at least, I could garner a nice compliment from her... thanks Tom... dream stealer.

So kudos to Any for not only being ultra-hot, but recognizing great comedy and talent when it's standing in front of her cracking wise.

Kudos also to Uma Thurman for never fixing her nose... or getting a foot-reduction (have ya seen those kicks- they've gotta be a size 14)... and to Jennifer Love Hewitt for telling the Enquirer to go screw ("I like my body") when they asked her about her cellulite. Here's an absolutely beautiful woman ridiculed for refusing to starve herself, revolve through lines at the liposuction clinic and pander to tabloid celebrity idiocy.

Call me crazy, but it is these flaws that make people beautiful to me. It makes them seem human, instead of part of some production scam designed to get me to buy something, or believe I need to be somehow something "more" than me to be happy, healthy and whole, that all I need is the next product, fad or wave to fix the part of me that's still fallibly human, then and only then, will I be whatever it is they are trying to tell me is "okay".

So thanks Amy- keep that space, Uma- you go girl, and you can probably punch out anyone who doesn't like your nose anyway. Thanks Jodi Foster for publicly stating you didn't think plastic surgery was for you, I mean that sincerely even though I am vaguely aware that you play for the other team, I respect you, but I was never really all that attracted to you. I know it seems insensitive to tell you this for the first time in such a public forum, where 3, perhaps even 4 people will read it as well.

What was the point of this blog again? Oh yeah, Tom Dustin=hero, Amy Smart is hot. I guess we've covered that.


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