Monday, September 21, 2009

Butterfly Effect... III???

Who knew? I sat through the entirety of Butterfly Effect I, thinking... that was horrible. I heard a rumor that there was in fact a Butterfly Effect II. I was curious as to why there would exist a sequel to a film no one saw, and of those who did see, about which none seemed to be all that enthused.

Generally, when a movie blows and no one sees it, the rea$on for making a sequel is squashed. Now I can see the impetus behind Basic Instinct II. Basic Instinct was a pretty decent thriller, erotic, and Paul Verhoeven did con Sharon Stone Stone into the now infamous crotch shot with the old "panties-will-reflect-off-the-camera we'll-edit-out-your-hooha" scam. A promise he now famously reneged. So, one might think, maybe in spite of horrid reviews, Basic II is worth seeing. I mean, it wasn't, it was a cashing-in of the worst kind, a total piece of non-creative bile spewed out like a frat boy's late night ill-advised chili dog- and less attractive a production at that. But what I'm saying is, at least I understand the notion behind such a venture. Whereas, Butterfly Effect II leaves me puzzled and ButterflyIII leaves me stunned and wondering if New Line Cinemas was in desperate need of a tax loss to balance some books.

Does anyone recall "Ishtar II"? How about "Showgirls: The Next Skank Wave" or "The Postman II: Special Delivery." Incidentally, I defy you to come up with a movie title involving a colon that is even watchable. Case in point, "Ballistic: Ecks versus Sever."

The colon in a title is almost like a red flag, a warning. The only more obvious warning to a potential movie watcher would be if the usher blocked the door to theater on his hand and knees, pleading with the popcorn-holding attendee, "Don't do it, I beg you. It's's absolute shit. It's John Travolta in platform shoes and bad makeup, it's a talking duck, it's the low point of Eddie Murphy's career."

Okay, that one could be a variety of films, but I was talking about Pluto Nash.

Not to blame the victim, but anyone who saw Butterfly Effect III got what they asked for. That's right, I said, they asked for it and I don't care if it's politically incorrect to say so. You walk in to Mission Impossible 3 or Gigli, you get what you deserve.

So anyway, Butterfly Effect III.. un frickinbelievable, eh?


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